Electronic Pensieve

- I wouldn’t mind spending a month or two in Sweden, locked up, away from everything that is myself. After reading On the Road I’ve taken time to critically consider what technology does in my life. Most of these thoughts spilled out onto Carley when were hiking in Jeffereson Memorial Forest this past week. Is technology, more specifically social networking, hindering human interaction rather than strengthening it? Probably not, but I would rather believe that it is. I think that relationships between friends and loved ones would be fewer, but stronger if we didn’t have to rely on communicating through text, twitter, facebook, etc. You call somebody using your house phone, make plans, and hang out. Go out and do something. And I don’t think this is a problem with any of my friends, but there are others I know who have social interactions with a good majority of their friends based solely on electronic communication. I just want people to do more.

I have a smart phone, a tumblr, and a facebook, but I try to use them in moderation and fore specific reasons (Facebook for event invites. Tumblr to entertain Elizabeth). So even I depend on them sometimes, which I hate. I’m simply afraid that generations after ours are slowly going to forget what a true relationship is with somebody. Or instead of going out and making experiences in life, they resort to simulating that experience through a computer screen. Who knows what will happen? I don’t.

- Studio Ghibli has a new movie coming out early February called The Secret World of Arrietty. I’m so excited to see it, but I’ll probably have to go to the movies and see it by myself because I’m fairly certain that everyone thinks I’m lame for liking these movies. They’re good though! I promise!

Recollections of the Day:

-My family put up Christmas decorations today and, my god, we have a lot of Christmas decorations. Really, when everything is all said, done, and decorated, it doesn’t look bad, but when you are unpacking it, there is a lot of nonsense. Giving my word, when I have my own place, decorating for Christmas will not be an all day thing. Just a couple of knickknacks here and there. And sweaters. And coffee mugs. That’s it.

-We put up the Christmas tree today as well, naturally. Koda was outside so he didn’t see it when we were assembling everything. Later when he came inside, he ambled upstairs to get a lick of water as usual until he froze. He saw the tree all lit up and towering against the living room walls and. He. Flipped. His. Shit. He started barking bloody murder at it like it was some mysterious intruder. It was quite amusing. We had to calm him down a few notches. Stupid dog. I love him though.

-There is a surprise birthday get-together at the Back Door next Saturday at like 9:30 or something. It should be a fun time (if you are of age-sorry Laura. Soon though). And there is going to be a surprise guest as well. A weary soul that his traveled in from the west. And his name rhymes with sex.

-“Emotionlessly she kissed me in the vineyard and walked off down the row. We turned at a dozen paces, for love is a duel, and looked at each other for the last time”. It is such a curious thing to me that couples last as long as they do. Or why divorce rates aren’t higher. After much thought and observation, I have found that one of my flaws in any relationship is that I don’t forgive and forget. I latch on to something that I think has wronged me, and I hold that animosity in my heart and remind myself of it later on in life. If I were able to let things go, I think my relationship with a couple of people would be a lot stronger, or even saved. Besides, who wants to live with dislike or even hate? I know I don’t want to, but it is difficult sometimes not to. If I could be proud of myself for one thing in life when I’m old and dying, I would want to say that I lived with as much love as possible. Love for people. Love for family. Love for myself. You name it, and I want to love it. So, dammit, I’ll try my hardest.

And of course, I love you.

What you know about that catalytic mechanism in your glycolytic pathway? Biochem. test tomorrow that’s worth a third of my grade. Hit me up if you want some knowledge dropped on you about how your body works. Ya hur?

Lately, experiencing anything outside of me has brought great ecstasy to my trite, everyday life. The most euphoric moments of my day are composed of riding to class through Old Louisville, admiring the brick apartments and windowsill gardens, or simply noticing a trees ageing character. Sometimes, I want ride somewhere through a foreign city, any city, and enjoy some bread and good, french-pressed coffee while observing people and nature living, loving, smiling, and most of all, wishing that someone is thinking about the same things that I am at that precise moment. Then I want to document what I see in a small, brown, worn book that smells like the leather of my bike saddle, and share my experiences with the people I love, and hope they really give a shit.

The things I want in life are already given to me. I just have to slow down and take the time to appreciate what I’m given. Living. Loving. Smiling. Good coffee. And giving a shit about those I love. Hopefully, I’ll meet someone some day that gives a shit so much about me, that they will marry me.

Then I can experience all these things with another person. For the rest of our lives. Living. Smiling. Crying. Laughing. Cooking. Growing. Making art. Making love. And living. And living. And living. And living.

And living.

For Elizabeth

(via allthingseurope)

So, I started showering at school after I work out in the gym. I feel that I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to do so in a community shower. I guess.

First Experience: I made sure that I was the only one in the locker room before I got undressed and hopped in. Complete success. No one was in the showers when I was.

Second Experience: Same thing. The coast was clear before I started showering, but this time, mid shower, somebody came in and started showering too. I got nervous, but kept my cool. If anything, he saw my butt. Weird, but I’ll take it.

Third Experience: Three people were already in there showering! I was going to be late unless I took one soon so I sucked it up and joined the shower party. All good in the hood.

Fourth Experience: Two old men taking showers.

Fifth Experience: I was taking a shower by myself when I noticed someone else was coming. I thought, “Eh, this is nothing new”. Then, out of the ten perfectly acceptable showering areas in the place, he decides to take his shower right next to me. In silence. Like, two feet away.

I hope this doesn’t get worse.